Relationships are how we relate to others. We have relationships with everyone we know and those who are close to us. Each and every interaction we have with another person is the act of relating. If we have a problem relating to others, it affects our ability to have supportive relationships. We have to ask ourselves if our relationships are supportive, and if they are not, then ask why they are not.

Everyone wants the perfect romance or marriage, but not everyone looks at the mechanics of how to have one. If we fail to have supportive relationships in our life, how can we have the “perfect love” relationships? Through the act of supporting, we honour and validate who the other person is. This is turn, validates who we are. So, both are supported; no one loses; no egos are involved; and, so doing, we honour the relationship.

This is what it means to have a supportive relationship. This is the desired goal. Now, how do we accomplish it?

Our conduct patterns, ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ get set as we grow up. In order to clear a problem, one must identify the original cause which created a behavioural pattern, move through the experience of that situation and experience the emotions associated with it.

The healing process is a time when we must love to the self. If we beat u p the self about the experience which had caused us harm or our past reaction to it, then we cannot heal. In being love to the self, we validate what we had experienced at that time.

Our emotions are always valid. So, it is important for us to do this self-validation in order to heal.

Love is the energy which helps us heal-whether we give this love to ourselves or receive it from another.

Loving relations start with the self. When we look at having supportive relationship in our life, why not start with the self?

Because that is where love comes from. This is what transforms our relationships and our lives. We must love the self first. And we cannot do that until we have healed and become whole. Spiritually we must rise, and our spiritual quotient must be high.

For, it is not about what we can receive from love, but what we can contribute or give to love. The more we give, the more are the returns.